Hello lovelies. I know I been gone for awhile but I have a lot going on school wise. Luckily for me, next week is my last week of classes then I take my finals! I'm so ready to go home for the Summer. In celebration of almost completing my freshman year of college, I decided to do a reflection on this year. I definitely went through many trials and tribulations this year, and I think its always good to reflect on what I learned. So I hope you all enjoy.


This year was definitely an eventful one for me. Personally, I learned that I am waaaaay stronger than I thought I was. Between my health, my social life and making my transition to college, I had a lot of things going on.

My health certainly took a toll on me this school year. In November, I was diagnosed with Lupus after many tests and doctors appointments. At first, I didn't really know how to react because it was the first time my body had betrayed me. I have always been a healthy person so it was a huge adjustment. Initially, I struggled with taking my medication and monitoring the disease. It was just a lot especially with the other things I was dealing with. However, around January I got myself together. Mainly due to the fact that taking better care of myself was one of my New Year's resolutions. Looking back, I am thankful that my disease came to the light when it did. My doctors were able to get me on a treatment plan that will hopefully prevent the disease from progressing. Today, I am keeping up with my meds and managing the pain that I do experience.

Socially, I went through it. I literally did not have any friends my first semester and even the beginning of second semester. I started my year with what I thought were friends, but let's just say I was very wrong. Not even half way through the first semester, I moved into a single by myself. It was that completely broke me as a person. I didn't socialize. I barely left my room. If I did decide to go somewhere, it was by myself. Let's just sum it up as I was super lonely. It was really hard for me because I have never felt like that before. Personally, I have always had friends. I have always been able to socialize with almost everyone. In high school, I was known for always talking in class or being loud. It was like I had totally changed. During this time, I was definitely really depressed. I hate saying that because I feel like people use the word so loosely now a days. However, I was genuinely going through a depression. The worst part about it was I didn't want to tell anyone. I felt like I was burdening my friends from back home, if I bothered them with my problems. On top of that, I honestly felt ashamed. Everyone of my friends was striving socially and academically, I felt like I was the failure. I spent so many days & nights crying, just wishing the days away. Honestly, it was a rough time for me. All that being said, somehow I was able to keep pushing. This is not to say that I have fully overcome the depression, but I have made it a point to push myself to be happy. Today, I go out more. I try not to lock myself in my room as much. I have met some people who I think I can honestly count on to be friends with over the next few years. I even made the decision to have a roommate next year, instead of being trapped in a room by myself. Currently, I am filling out applications to join a few on-campus organizations. So, I think I have made tremendous improvements in a short time. Everyday I just try to stay positive, especially on the harder days.

Transitioning to college as a whole was an interesting experience. There is so many things that no one told me. Everyone always stresses how its the best years of your life. However, it can be so lonely sometimes. Many people surrounding me did not have my best interest at heart and I had to learn that. Personally, I cut off a lot of people. I found it very hard to open up with new people because of my fear of them treating me wrong. Not to mention, I do not like partying like that. Don't get me wrong, I can go out every once in awhile but partying every weekend just isn't my thing. Many of my classmates only care about partying and their social status, so it was super hard finding people who liked a good balance. Also I am extremely dedicated to my academics. I always put my school work before anything else. The struggle was finding "friends" that understood that. I have always been a person that stuck to my morals. Never letting anyone really influence me to do something I didn't want to do. Being a headstrong and different individual made it extremely hard for me to fit in. However, once I joined Honors College, I was able to find like minded individuals. It was super cool to be surrounded by people who love to have fun, but also don't play when it comes to their GPA. That's the type of people I wanted to be around. Currently, I am trying to find other organizations to join that are tailored to be strengths and likes.

College can be some of the best years of your life. As many before me have said, "It's what you make of it." After my freshman year, I can truly say that is an accurate statement. Once I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, I found so many different opportunities. I definitely have much more work to do. However, I'm happy with the growth that I have made over this year. I pray that next year will only get better. I just have to remember to keep my head up, and continue to do me. The only thing I am determined to do is graduate and make big things happen.

                                               Yours truly,
                                                               MPS